Bait, Tackle, Ice, Advice and Beer Blog » Mandy Lou Stark

Giving Thanks in Hard Times

Mandy Lou Stark — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 21:12:11 +0000

It’s Thanksgiving Eve. Most are preparing for festive gatherings with family and friends, wrapped up a rush of finishing a never-ending list of things we must accomplish in order to enjoy a day of peace, quiet and lots and lots of eating.

While we are preoccupied with our to-dos, the reason for the season sometimes slips out of our minds.

Feeling and expressing gratitude and goodwill are what Thanksgiving is meant to be.

For some, though, it may not be easy to be grateful. The United States is facing some of the most economically difficult times in history. The future is uncertain. Life is a little scary.

In the midst of the discord in our country, friends I know are suffering through family crises, personal loss, financial hardships and extreme uncertainty.

I can’t imagine how hard it would be to try to find joy in a holiday that almost makes us feel guilty if we don’t want to give thanks because we’re wondering what there is to say thanks about.

To make matters worse, “Black Friday” – the day after Thanksgiving that kicks off the shopping season and entices shoppers with deep discounts and sales − has now even started much earlier than Friday.

Retailers such as Wal-Mart are opening their doors as early as 9:00 p.m. Thursday night, meaning Americans don’t even get one full day of freedom from thinking about spending money they may not even have, which emphasizes even more whey people are in despair.

A vicious cycle of circumstances and events just continue to hold people down and prohibit them from even enjoying one designated day a year to give thanks and praise.

Hopefully, though, no matter where you are, what your situation and how you’re feeling that you will find at least one thing for which to be thankful. If you’re reading this, you’re alive and that is definitely one thing for which to be thankful. Hopefully, if you think about it even more, your list will grow and multiply.

Looking back on the last many years, thinking of all of the varied Thanksgiving days I’ve lived, I have a hard time remembering the specifics. I can’t remember what I was going through, or what I was sad, unsettled or upset about.

All I remember about my last many Thanksgivings is the joy and love I felt. And I remember being thankful. Maybe it was because I was supposed to be or maybe because I truly was, but that feeling can stay with you, if you want it and if you let it. Obviously, no matter what I was going through, it has resolved itself.

I hope for you to let go of any hardships and the sorrow you’re experiencing and instead of letting it overcome you, to just be thankful. You may be surprised that next year when you look back, you’ll barely remember the troubles you were having, but the courage you had to say thanks anyway.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~Melody Beattie

><(("> Mandy Stark

Mandy is a ><(("> Friend of Catch Your Limit, a marketing firm with offices in Tallahassee, Florida and Richmond, Virginia. To contact Mandy email her at misslou20@aol.com or to learn more about Catch Your Limit, visit www.catchyourlimit.com.

A Really Big Rant: E-mail Courtesy

Mandy Lou Stark — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 00:18:31 +0000

I was in the mood to write a sweet blog today about our “hidden talents” and how to hone in on what we’re good at and not worry so much about what we’re not good at.

However, a pet peeve of mine has been festering, and I reached my boiling point today. I’m going to let it out and save my fluffy blog for another time.

It is normal to have pet peeves in business such as: “I hate when my cubicle neighbor routinely cuts his or her toenails on work time,” “my boss still calls twitter ‘tweeter,’” and “I was almost run over by my maniacal coworker in the parking garage – again.”

Everybody is entitled to be annoyed by things in the office considering we spend a huge portion of our lives there.

But my concern is one that very few folks in business do not seem to have a grasp on – the e-mail carbon copy function.

Electronic mail actually predates the inception of the Internet and was in use by the early 1970s. Most people have been using e-mail for business and personal matters since the mid 1990s, meaning an average person could have sent possibly hundreds of thousands of e-mails over the years. That’s a long time to catch on to some basic principles of what to do and what not to do when it comes to e-mail.

I’ll get to the point. Carbon copying (abbreviated as cc or c.c.) in an e-mail goes to two or more people whom the author wants to publicly include in a message. Usually the main person you’re writing to is listed in the “to” category and secondary recipients are listed in the “cc” category. Ok, that’s pretty simple.

Carbon copying others makes sense when writing to an entire department, a team or a family – groups of people who logically would be included in the message.

Here’s where carbon copying can go awry:

Coworkers use e-mail to ask each other questions, share ideas and problem solve. In these cases, the e-mails tend to be informal in nature and not meant to be seen by an outside party – especially a boss or supervisor. There is usually a big difference between the types of e-mails that are sent among the ranks and that are sent to executives.

If you are bouncing ideas off your coworker, don’t start to carbon copy the boss mid-conversation – especially without letting the other person know. From my experience, higher ups prefer to see the final result and unless they specifically ask to be included in the planning phases of a project, don’t bore them with things they probably don’t want to know.

And here’s something else to think about – this could be perceived as a violation of trust and privacy. There’s times when I wonder if people use e-mail carbon copying as a weapon to make other people look silly or expose an error or a mistake to a boss or another person.

If this did happen to me, I know my cheeks would turn red as I imagined my boss opening the e-mail wondering why they were included in such mundane details and why the person felt it necessary to get them involved. I’d feel like I just got told on to my teacher.

Another example of a huge no-no in my book is using carbon copying for personal gain. As innocent as this sounds, it is not a way to make brownie points. I know of somebody who was doing some research about services and sent out a few feeler e-mails to get information. One of the e-mails that person received back included not only the information they requested, but a strategically placed carbon copy to a VIP.

Think of an e-mail almost like a phone call. If your coworker asked you a quick question, would you ask them to wait a second while you conferenced in their boss? If you called a vendor, would you think it was strange if they wanted you to put the director of the company on the line too? What a way to make somebody feel insignificant or incompetent!

I know we all make mistakes and clearly think what we’re doing at any given moment is appropriate and the right thing to do. E-mail is quick and dirty, but it requires more than just being able to hit send. It takes a few minutes of strategizing to really determine what you’re saying and to whom you’re saying it.

For such an easy-to-come by and practically free tool – e-mail is more powerful than we could ever imagine in relaying our image, our message our motives and our credibility.

“There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it.”~ Dale Carnegie (1888-1955)
><(("> Mandy Stark
Mandy is a ><(("> Friend of Catch Your Limit, a marketing firm with offices in Tallahassee, Florida and Richmond, Virginia. To contact Mandy email her at misslou20@aol.com or to learn more about Catch Your Limit, visit www.catchyourlimit.com.

Old Habits Die Hard

Mandy Lou Stark — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 17:30:47 +0000

I haven’t been in school in more than 11 years.

For some crazy reason, I thought between having a full-time job, being a single parent, being involved in charities, extracurricular professional activities, running my household and having a social life, that I could fit in time to get an advanced degree.

Why now some ask?

Why not?

Alright, so I did it. I enrolled at Liberty University, which has an online master’s of business administration degree program.

Our first assignment was to introduce ourselves to the class and that was worth quite a few points. “Hurrah,” I thought, “this is going to be cake.” I had the notion that since I’ve been in the business world for so long, I’d grasp the concepts quickly and easily.

Not so fast. I knew it would be time consuming and require discipline and hard work, but next thing I know I’m buzzing through discussion boards, required reading, quizzes, papers and group projects and I’m falling behind fast.

Since the classes are online and don’t have classroom time, work is rigorous and lightning-speed paced.

My biggest challenge, however, has been following the graduate-level American Psychological Association writing style.

Since being out of school, the only style to which I’ve had to adhere is Associated Press style, which was ingrained in my brain in Journalism school.

I consider myself a sort of freestyle breaking-all-the-rules-because-I-know-the-rules rouge type of writer.

You know, like a freeflow rapper who just spouts off a stream of consciousness and makes it sound kind of intelligible and good. And people actually dance to it.

So following a very strict set of standards is hard for me. I also supposedly can’t use “flowery language.” As my boss and editor put it, “you’re screwed.” She knows my writing well.

I’ve really had to tone down my metaphors and similes and start forming sentences like a real scholar would.

I also have to use running heads and actually cite other people’s writing and create a references page. It truly sucks, but I asked for it.

And on to the procrastination factor. I remember when I was at Tallahassee Community College and Florida A&M University; I would be the one up late, studying for tomorrow’s test and trying to cram in four chapters worth of reading in one night.

It’s funny how that old habit is one that is hard to break. Just last night, I was finding so many other things to do other than schoolwork – things that I usually hate.

Folding laundry. Doing dishes. Vacuuming. I even organized my linen closet. After I couldn’t procrastinate any longer, I hit the books and next thing I know, it’s midnight. And then I’m falling asleep and wishing I hadn’t started so late.

I’m a 33-year-old student who reverts right back to my 17-year-old student mindframe.

I did well in school way back when, but for now, I’d like to strive for more. I’d like to do well and do it the right way.

I have a lot more things at stake: Graduate classes cost at least three times more than undergraduate classes. I have a mortgage and bills and a living, breathing kid to pay for. I have others who have invested in my education.

So, maybe it was presumptuous to expect this to be easy. It’s funny how the things in life we think will be hard, wind up being not nearly as bad as we thought and in this case, something I thought would be pretty breezy, wound up perplexing me and forcing me to change my attitude.

I’m really buckling down by skipping my lunch break to work on school and getting started on everything early and even burning the midnight oil. I ask my teachers questions, I engage with the members of my group projects and I’m committed to getting the writing style as right as I possibly can.

It’s so true about life that we revert back to what we know and what worked for us before, even if it wasn’t the best method.

But, when we receive a reality check and decide to become committed, it’s possible to adopt new habits that help us grow, learn and reach our goals.

Even if you’re not in school, learning doesn’t have to stop, and there is always a new thought or idea that we could embrace – even later in life and even if we thought we knew everything.

As Claude Bernard said, “It’s what we think we know that keeps us from learning.”
><(("> Mandy Stark
Mandy is a ><(("> Friend of Catch Your Limit, a marketing firm with offices in Tallahassee, Florida and Richmond, Virginia. To contact Mandy email her at misslou20@aol.com or to learn more about Catch Your Limit, visit www.catchyourlimit.com.

Resume Rescue

Mandy Lou Stark — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 15:32:50 +0000

Like the choking, pungent, smoky wildfires in Florida – there’s a burning question that should be swirling in the heads of anybody who is reading this blog.

When was the last time you updated your resume? You may have been in the same position for 20 years, you may be looking to change career paths, you may be fresh out of college or you may currently be unemployed.

No matter what category you’re in, take a good, hard look at your curriculum vitae.

When I graduated from Journalism school almost 11 years ago – I probably had a really, really lame resume, but I still managed to get job offers aplenty and had my pick of where I wanted to work.

These days, I know of folks who aren’t even getting an interview and if they do, they’re up against people who are willing to do just about anything to be the top candidate.

When I say look at your resume, I mean be brutal. The basic, created-on-Microsoft Word-template resume is no longer acceptable. Employers are now getting hundreds of resumes for just one position and if something doesn’t catch his or her eye and stand out from the rest of the bland, black and white, run of the mill resumes – believe me, you aren’t even getting a toe in the door.

If you think your resume is stellar, and you haven’t touched it in more than a year – revamp it immediately!

Give it to a friend and see what they have to say.

I always thought my resume rocked until a friend said that it just didn’t have much to offer and that my personality did not shine through. Oops! Even though I’m staying right where I am, I still wanted to make my resume sing!

I critiqued the heck of it and realized yeah, this really sucks. Since I’m not hungry for a new job, I really didn’t put much effort into my “calling card” so to speak. So here’s my original resume: resume sample 1.

I tried to make resume 1 jazzy by picking a fancy font for my name, and even put my best attributes right underneath, but otherwise the great content looks just like a sea of text that might get cumbersome to read. By the way, on this resume I blocked out my contact information and my references. Sorry stalkers!

So, I decided to throw out this entire format and here’s what I came up with: resume sample 2.

Hold your applause please! Ok, so I’m proud of this. Folks, I’m not a graphic designer. I created this on Microsoft Publisher. Once I got going, there was no stopping me.

I was so pleased that I was able to put all the most important information on ONE PAGE! That is a big plus to an HR professional whose eyes probably start bleeding from reading so many 2, 3 and 4 page resumes.

By the way, in honor of this post, I totally faked out my contact information and my references – expect of course the wonderful owners of Catch Your Limit Consulting!

I think this rescued resume speaks for itself. More than anything, it’s a HUGE improvement and is much more eye catching and hopefully appealing.

More than anything, I truly hope it goes to show that a few changes and a new look could really make a huge difference.

I’m glad I ditched my old resume and started anew. I really hope you’ll consider doing the same.

You never know when opportunity will knock. When it does you’ll be able to shoot that perfectly poised resume PDF right over to somebody who might be ready to offer you the job you’ve been waiting for your whole life.
><(("> Mandy Stark
Mandy is a ><(("> Friend of Catch Your Limit, a marketing firm with offices in Tallahassee, Florida and Richmond, Virginia. To contact Mandy email her at misslou20@aol.com or to learn more about Catch Your Limit, visit www.catchyourlimit.com.

Signs of Life

Mandy Lou Stark — Thu, 05 May 2011 23:01:28 +0000

In Tallahassee, Bronough Street has been under construction for seemingly ever. It’s a bumpy and slow-going ride, so I try to avoid this route whenever possible.

Sometimes by habit I find myself there and quickly remember that I should’ve gone another way.

However, the last several times I’ve taken Bronough, one of the road workers will catch my eye. He’s a plump fellow donning a neon orange safety vest, whose duty is to hold the “slow” sign.

That’s a pretty generic road worker description, and the image of someone like him would usually flow in and out of my brain, barely registering.

But there’s something different about this one.

Sign in one hand, he keeps the other hand free to wave enthusiastically to every passerby. He flashes a constant toothy, gold grin, but it gets even bigger when somebody waves back to him.

It’s almost as if his day is made every time he gets noticed. He tries hard to acknowledge every single person in every single car, even if he has to wave and smile continuously.

I imagine to myself that he not only takes pride in keeping the traffic flowing, but that he secretly hopes to startle us from the mundane and surprise us with such a sweet and unexpected gesture.

It’s definitely a “detour” from the usual when I’m caught up with everyday life – my job, bills, chores and any given stress of the moment.

How easy it is to get wrapped up in shoulda, coulda, woulda and why, why not, when and how.

I can’t help but giggle, smile and wave back just as emphatically to him every single time. For a second we share a little moment – me in my air-conditioned car, him sitting in the blazing sun. Two different people who don’t know each other from Adam’s housecat, but recognizing a momentary spark of common ground.

I can’t remember the last time I interacted with a person who demonstrated such a great attitude. I really can’t remember the last time I’ve had such a great attitude. All of a sudden, I felt like trying a little harder.

We all have a calling, but we sometimes forget to capitalize on the awesome things about our lives and jobs, and we focus on the haves and have nots.

This will almost always us down or us from catching our limit or reaching our potential.

I’m not sure how much the Bronough Street worker loves to hold a sign for countless exhausting hours in the endless Florida heat. But, he certainly seems to enjoy brightening the day of everybody he sees. He has clearly found something worthwhile and of value to him despite every other not-so-perfect circumstance.

Today my coworker and friend, Linda, and I wound up on Bronough on the way back to the office from lunch.

We both looked at each other and laughed when we saw our friend with the contagious gusto. Linda had seen him before, too, and said that she was delighted and surprised to see somebody taking pleasure in whatever they do, no matter what it is.

Life might not always be exciting or glamorous, but we certainly have a lot to be thankful for and have the opportunity to make the best of it no matter where we stand – even if it’s on the side of a rough, uneven, congested road.
><(("> Mandy Stark
Mandy is a ><(("> Friend of Catch Your Limit, a marketing firm with offices in Tallahassee, Florida and Richmond, Virginia. To contact Mandy email her at misslou20@aol.com or to learn more about Catch Your Limit, visit www.catchyourlimit.com.

Mobile Marketing? Yes, Please!

Mandy Lou Stark — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 01:31:32 +0000

This week I bought my daughter a pair of darling sparkly silver sandals and a not-so-needed but adorable nonetheless sparkly silver purse for myself at Payless Shoe Source. BOGO of course. And 20 percent off to “boot.” Sorry, I like puns.

The other day, I got a gratis round of calamari from Carrabba’s Italian Grill, not too long ago rented a free movie from Redbox, and I plan on taking advantage of a $5.99 meal deal from Jersey Mike’s Subs soon.

Where are these offers coming from you ask? Are you some sort of VIP? Do you have an inside scoop that nobody else knows about? Are you in some sort of consumer mafia?

Something like that …

Savvy businesses like Payless, Carrabba’s, Jersey Mike’s and Redbox know that somebody like me is on the run, doesn’t have time to search for specials and isn’t organized enough to keep track of coupons. So instead they reach me on a device that rarely leaves my hand – my smart phone.

Smart ideed.

I vaguely remember these companies asking for my cell phone number either on their facebook page, a Web site or in store and I willingly gave out my private and personal information because I love bargains! Not to mention, these are businesses I like. This is customization at its best.

To rack up the savings, all I usually have to do is provide a special code or even show my phone and I’m in freebie heaven.

I recently attended a Florida Public Relations Association Capital Chapter workshop called “Making the Case for Mobile Marketing.” The speaker, Craig Kronenberger with Edelman Digital, shared his mobile marketing expertise including three powerful pieces of information:

• 86 percent of Americans have a phone with Web connectivity

• Smartphone sales will surpass personal computer sales in 2011

• SMS text marketing has a much higher click through rate than e-mail marketing

This information shows that cross marketing works, and while in its somewhat early stages, will have a lasting impression on consumers as long as businesses realize that there are lines not to cross.

Cell phones are highly personal to their owners. They are a lifeline to work, business and play and we don’t want to be bombarded with ads unless there is a value.

The well-timed text containing a lunch deal a few days before payday could really entice me to visit a restaurant when I’m scraping together change in the bottom of my purse.

But, when I feel my phone buzzing expecting a text from a friend and it’s an advertisement, it will turn me off in a hurry.

I’ve received some extremely annoying spam texts, but luckily all it takes is a return text reply with “stop” and the problem is usually solved.

Spam has been around since the beginning of paper junk mail, but hopefully this will go by the wayside as mobile marketing and advertising becomes more advanced.

This marketing is just the start of how businesses can tap into their customers hearts and minds.

As I mentioned before – I was in the market for a pair of shoes for my daughter, but since I received a text discount code, I figured I’d pick up a purse for myself.

And that is exactly what Payless was hoping for.
><(("> Mandy Stark
Mandy is a ><(("> Friend of Catch Your Limit, a marketing firm with offices in Tallahassee, Florida and Richmond, Virginia. To contact Mandy email her at misslou20@aol.com or to learn more about Catch Your Limit, visit www.catchyourlimit.com.

Do I Even Have a Happy Place? Home? Work?

Mandy Lou Stark — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 22:08:05 +0000

Happiness – what is means, where to find it, and what it feels like – seems to be a mystery to many. This relates to the workplace, to homelife and to you as a person. To me, happiness is often because of a circumstance, but not always my perpetual state. I haven’t yet fully figured out to connect all the dots to find the intangible bliss that is supposedly out there, somewhere.

At work – I feel happy when I’m listening to classical music, with a Diet Coke nearby and when I have so much going on that I think I can almost feel the sparks firing off in my brain. I love big ideas, problem solving and raw creativity.

At home – I feel happy when my windows are open, the laundry is going, my doggies have wagging tails, my cat is sweetly purring and my daughter is happily playing. I like for things to be organized, clean and beautiful.

But what I’ve found, sadly, is that when all these things aren’t perfectly lined up, I’m not so happy. I sometimes become overwhelmed and upset if all these pieces and parts aren’t just right. But seriously, how could everything line up perfectly?

There are days when work drags and nothing very exciting is happening except the actual … work. Co-workers don’t get me, I have too much to do, I’m lacking resources and somewhere along the way, I’ve lost my inspiration, my train of thought and at times, my tape dispenser.

With a full-time job, family activities and big responsibilities, it’s a miracle if I even make my bed during the week. My pets sometimes annoy me to death with their fluff and drool, I find myself struggling with my daughter’s homework and have to consult with Google about what the altitude of a cylindrical solid means because apparently 3rd grade math is too hard for me, and my pile of laundry occasionally winds up being higher than the washer and dryer themselves.

There are moments when I ask myself if happy is a place, a thought, a situation, a state of mind or maybe … a wish? However, nobody said happy can’t be a combination of things, right?

Neurology is not exactly my specialty, but I do know that the feeling of doing something is said to mimic the same responses in our brains as actually doing it. That’s pretty powerful. If we’re looking for happy, so say I – think happy, do happy, find happy, go happy, feel happy … maybe we’ll trick our brains into thinking we truly are happy and one of these days, it will become so.

I’m tired of expecting to find my joy based on a set of unrealistic circumstances that I perceive will make me happy.

I decide to be thankful for unmade beds, silly pets, impossibly difficult elementary school homework and a not always perfect job.

There’s also the huge blessings that matter to me including family, friends, music, the beach, wine, food, love and unexpected surprises that create a combination of joys that contribute to one big heap of … happy.

I’m sure you have your own happy place, but possibly forgot the directions. Make up some new ones or try a new path. Just make sure you find it!

I’m trying to let some things go, embrace the mishaps and take great things even if they come in tiny doses.

There’s so much more than perfection. There so much more than the things we think we want, but don’t have. Those things might not even be worth it, or as good as what we’ve already got.

If we count up all the good stuff in whatever form, maybe we’ll realize that the happiness we’ve been looking for was there all along.

Besides, “Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.” ~John Barrymore
><(("> Mandy Stark
Mandy is a ><(("> Friend of Catch Your Limit, a marketing firm with offices in Tallahassee, Florida and Richmond, Virginia. To contact Mandy email her at misslou20@aol.com or to learn more about Catch Your Limit, visit www.catchyourlimit.com.

What Color Were YOU on Today?

Mandy Lou Stark — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 20:16:00 +0000

When my nine-year-old daughter, Lindsay, was in kindergarten, she brought home a daily report. The teachers had a color-coding system to indicate behavior hits or misses.

Green meant a great day, yellow meant that the student needed a warning, and red meant serious business as in: your child grew devil horns.

Everybody started on green at the beginning of each day, and even had a chance to redeem themselves after making a mistake.

Lindsay rarely entered the yellow or red zone, but if she did, she took it seriously. Not being on green had many consequences including missing out on special treats and events and everybody knowing that she misbehaved (to her, so terribly embarrassing).

Even though Lindsay hasn’t been on the color-coded scale since she was five, I know she monitors her actions and realizes when she’s crossing the line. She learned that she has to be accountable for her actions, pay the penalty if she fumbled and that she could start new every single day.

Just because nobody is officially recording your “color” (or maybe they are and you don’t know it) doesn’t mean that you can’t keep yourself in line and figure out when the colors are blurring.

Do you start the day out on red the second you open your eyes, feeling negative and knowing that things won’t go your way, or do you hop out of bed on green with a can-do attitude, feeling like you can accomplish great things?

For Star Wars enthusiasts like my boyfriend, Frank, it could be fun to relate behaviors to the series’ characters.

GREEN During positive, productive, successful moments, you could be channeling Yoda – the most renowned and powerful Jedi Master in galactic history, who was known for his legendary wisdom, mastery of the Force and skills in combat.

YELLOW If you’re in between moods and teetering on the verge of being good or bad, you may find yourself wondering if C-3PO – a wishy-washy, naysaying, fussy, yet still lovable droid – is taking over your mind and body.

RED When feeling grumpy, tired, overwhelmed or fighting back the urge to challenge everybody in your office to a deadly light-saber duel, your inner Darth Vader – a ruthless cyborg and one of pop-culture’s most notable villains – may make an unwelcome appearance.

Remember that you’re not going to have a perfect day, hour or minute! It is not always easy to have a great attitude, tolerate your coworkers or feel 100-percent positive about your job, but it is easy to recognize when your mood and attitude shifts and know that you can bring yourself right back to the real you.

Think of your own rating system to help you stay in line when times are tough. Make it simple, make it fun, make it something you relate to and make it work.

When you’re feeling a little Darth Vader-esque or C-3POish, think back to what an adorable, short, green Jedi with pointy ears said a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away:

“Remember, a Jedi’s strength flows from the Force. But beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.”

P.S. Star Wars knowledgable I’m not. Showed me the way Wookieepedia, the Star Wars Wiki did.
><(("> Mandy Stark
Mandy is a ><(("> Friend of Catch Your Limit, a marketing firm with offices in Tallahassee, Florida and Richmond, Virginia. To contact Mandy email her at misslou20@aol.com or to learn more about Catch Your Limit, visit www.catchyourlimit.com.

Lessons in Letting Go: In Fashion, Life and Business

Mandy Lou Stark — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 20:00:36 +0000

We all have things on which we don’t want give up. Ideas that we just can’t let die. Feigned ignorance about things we can’t face. And even material objects that we just can’t get rid of.

I carry around every one of those pieces of baggage, but I recently made a decision that has helped me put other areas of my life that need improvement in perspective.

I have a rule about shoes. I draw the line at owning 50 pairs. I know that sounds like a lot of shoes to begin with, but if you love shoes as much as I do, it’s really easy to have so many! To me, having 20 pairs of black heels is perfectly normal. But, once I have 51 pairs of shoes, I give a pair away because having that many pairs is bad shoe karma in my opinion. I like to pass on good shoe juju to others!

I own a magical set of black, satin, peep-toe pumps. When I saw them in the department store, I immediately envisioned them being perfect for work and play, and had to have them. I loved them as much as Dorothy loved her ruby red slippers. When it comes time to give away a pair, I always make sure these make the cut.

However, I’m not really sure why I love these shoes so much – especially because I’ve experienced such great heartache, embarrassment and pain almost every time I wear them.

Once as I was walking outside near my office, the heel of these shoes caught the back of my pant leg, and I flew forward, scraped my knees and palms, ripped my slacks and humiliated myself in front of a huge group of people.

I wore these shoes to a wedding and got such terrible blisters that I couldn’t walk the next day, and recently, I absentmindedly hooked the heels of these shoes into the wooden footrest of a barstool, lost my balance, fell forward and landed on my hands and knees right in the middle of a dance floor. I looked back and there were the shoes, hanging on the wooden footrest.

Why do I keep wearing these shoes? It’s as if they keep letting me down, but I want to give them one more chance. Do you have a situation like this in your life?

Gosh, who doesn’t? We have to ask ourselves why we can’t give something up. What are we afraid of? I’m definitely not afraid of hurting my shoes’ feelings, but I feel attached to something that I thought would work out so well. I definitely have projects that I really wish would just flourish, but never come together.

There are definitely things that I would prefer not address, no matter how unhealthy I know they are.

But this also means that I’m not moving forward, not making changes and not finding better opportunities. Maybe modifying how we do something, having a different attitude or even making a huge statement or action could be the tipping point. It doesn’t mean that we failed or even gave up. It means that we chose a new direction.

As I was getting dressed for work the other day, I thought about reaching for my fabulous, yet unfriendly shoes. I changed my mind.

Instead of throwing them on and hoping nothing went wrong, or even passing them on to somebody else, I threw them right in the trash and didn’t look back.

It felt good to make a decision to let something go that wasn’t working.

Besides, that leaves me with 49 pairs of shoes, and a slot to buy a set that could turn out to be more beautiful and comfortable that maybe put some extra spring in my step.

With a little luck, I may even find my own pair of ruby slippers, that lead me down a pleasantly surprising and unexpected Yellow Brick Road headed straight for the Emerald City.
><(("> Mandy Stark
Mandy is a ><(("> Friend of Catch Your Limit, a marketing firm with offices in Tallahassee, Florida and Richmond, Virginia. To contact Mandy email her at misslou20@aol.com or to learn more about Catch Your Limit, visit www.catchyourlimit.com.

Cry Baby, Cry!

Mandy Lou Stark — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 18:00:14 +0000

Let’s all have a good cry real quick. Let’s engrave our invitations to our own personal pity party. Wah. wah. wah. Ok, I just called the wahmulance. It can take you away to Crybabyland where you and all the poor-pitiful-me residents can all sit around and complain about the things in your life that suck. All day. All the time. Over and over and over again.

You don’t have to face the brutal truth, make positive changes, take responsibility or find resolutions. Bon voyage! Enjoy your trip!

Wait, you don’t want to go there? Things aren’t so bad after all? Ohhhhh, I see. You have selective bouts of feeling sorry for yourself and you know that the only way to change the things you don’t like, is to do something … different … and change your attitude. Wow, you’re brighter than I thought!

Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you! I’m talking to me too! Because we are kindred spirits. We all feel this way sometimes. We all feel that way a lot of the time actually, but luckily we have the power to change our thoughts and feelings in one instant.

Ok, so we’re not Buddha. We don’t have the ability to give ourselves perpetual pep talks and meditate on higher levels of consciousness. If you’re like me, you have a career, a family, home responsibilities, extracurricular activities, a social life and relationships to manage. At any given time, one or more of these things will not … go … as … planned.

People let us down, things goes wrong, our expectations aren’t met, we are treated unkindly, unfairly and unjustly – maybe these things are even happening all at the same time. If you think that has never happened to somebody else, you’re wrong. But, why is it so easy to forget about the good stuff and remember that these inconveniences are temporary?

Do you have an escape plan? Do you have a secret parachute pull? Do you have something that helps you find your center, or a glimmer of inner peace and reminds you that you are ok and not the only person in the world going through something awful?

If you don’t, get one. It really can be anything. Something funny that makes you laugh and helps you forget about the current moment. Something sad that snaps you back to the present and helps you remember how blessed you really are. A person, a thing or a place. A bucket list? Come on, anything!

Mine is the No Whining Zone. Once I get my venting out there to some lucky person, it’s over. Venting is great, but it’s exactly that. Say it, feel better and let it evaporate. Quit bringing it up! It’s over! Nobody wants to hear it again!

Then I have a reality check and remind myself that things could be so much worse. Then I get over myself.

Oh, you mean like, remember that you’re not THAT big of a deal? That people aren’t supposed to bow down to you in gratitude for every little thing you do? That people are actually going through their own stuff and most of the time it doesn’t even relate to you? Yep.

Smack, smack, smack. Right in the face. How’s that for a reality check?

Now try to stay in the No Whining Zone. Think of others. Be kind to them and yourself and change your thoughts for a few moments and be amazed at how differently you feel.

If our assumptions about others shaped the way life really was, boy we’d be in trouble.

That annoying guy in the movies laughing really loud and chomping on his popcorn? That may be the only movie he can afford to go to all year and he just wants to live it up and enjoy every moment. Dang, you feel like a jerk now, don’t you?

If only we felt as sorry for others as we do for ourselves, the world would be a nicer place.

So, cancel that pity party and start celebrating! Give yourself a standing O, and give one for your friend, Mom, Dad, co-worker, brother, sister, child, aunt, uncle, Grandma, Grandpa or even that woman at Publix taking an hour to ring you up … while you’re at it.

We’re all fighting some type of real or perceived battle, but stop whining for a minute and listen to something other than the negative thoughts eating your brain and putting black marks on your soul.

Nobody expects us to be perfect, emotionless go-bots. But, if we’d shut up for a sec, maybe we’ll hear that our friend has a solution. Or find out that maybe the battle was more like a victory in disguise. Or that maybe it really is that bad.

However, I promise things will get better. And if they don’t, make them better. And if that doesn’t work, throw a party, but don’t invite the negativity! And then laugh. And figure it all out!

If you have a problem, solve it. Talk to that person who drove you nuts. Get it out there. Quit dwelling, I say! Moving forward, stopping those rotten thoughts and not whining is the only solution.

Unless you’d like to take a permanent vacation to Crybabyland where there’s always a tear in your beer and the bad advice is free.

I’ll be sipping margaritas with my friends in Positivity City where the sun always shines, laughs are a plenty, the creativity flows and there is always enough time for everybody to … catch their limit …
><(("> Mandy Stark
Mandy is a ><(("> Friend of Catch Your Limit, a marketing firm with offices in Tallahassee, Florida and Richmond, Virginia. To contact Mandy email her at misslou20@aol.com or to learn more about Catch Your Limit, visit www.catchyourlimit.com.