Let’s all have a good cry real quick. Let’s engrave our invitations to our own personal pity party. Wah. wah. wah. Ok, I just called the wahmulance. It can take you away to Crybabyland where you and all the poor-pitiful-me residents can all sit around and complain about the things in your life that suck. All day. All the time. Over and over and over again.
You don’t have to face the brutal truth, make positive changes, take responsibility or find resolutions. Bon voyage! Enjoy your trip!
Wait, you don’t want to go there? Things aren’t so bad after all? Ohhhhh, I see. You have selective bouts of feeling sorry for yourself and you know that the only way to change the things you don’t like, is to do something … different … and change your attitude. Wow, you’re brighter than I thought!
Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you! I’m talking to me too! Because we are kindred spirits. We all feel this way sometimes. We all feel that way a lot of the time actually, but luckily we have the power to change our thoughts and feelings in one instant.
Ok, so we’re not Buddha. We don’t have the ability to give ourselves perpetual pep talks and meditate on higher levels of consciousness. If you’re like me, you have a career, a family, home responsibilities, extracurricular activities, a social life and relationships to manage. At any given time, one or more of these things will not … go … as … planned.
People let us down, things goes wrong, our expectations aren’t met, we are treated unkindly, unfairly and unjustly – maybe these things are even happening all at the same time. If you think that has never happened to somebody else, you’re wrong. But, why is it so easy to forget about the good stuff and remember that these inconveniences are temporary?
Do you have an escape plan? Do you have a secret parachute pull? Do you have something that helps you find your center, or a glimmer of inner peace and reminds you that you are ok and not the only person in the world going through something awful?
If you don’t, get one. It really can be anything. Something funny that makes you laugh and helps you forget about the current moment. Something sad that snaps you back to the present and helps you remember how blessed you really are. A person, a thing or a place. A bucket list? Come on, anything!
Mine is the No Whining Zone. Once I get my venting out there to some lucky person, it’s over. Venting is great, but it’s exactly that. Say it, feel better and let it evaporate. Quit bringing it up! It’s over! Nobody wants to hear it again!
Then I have a reality check and remind myself that things could be so much worse. Then I get over myself.
Oh, you mean like, remember that you’re not THAT big of a deal? That people aren’t supposed to bow down to you in gratitude for every little thing you do? That people are actually going through their own stuff and most of the time it doesn’t even relate to you? Yep.
Smack, smack, smack. Right in the face. How’s that for a reality check?
Now try to stay in the No Whining Zone. Think of others. Be kind to them and yourself and change your thoughts for a few moments and be amazed at how differently you feel.
If our assumptions about others shaped the way life really was, boy we’d be in trouble.
That annoying guy in the movies laughing really loud and chomping on his popcorn? That may be the only movie he can afford to go to all year and he just wants to live it up and enjoy every moment. Dang, you feel like a jerk now, don’t you?
If only we felt as sorry for others as we do for ourselves, the world would be a nicer place.
So, cancel that pity party and start celebrating! Give yourself a standing O, and give one for your friend, Mom, Dad, co-worker, brother, sister, child, aunt, uncle, Grandma, Grandpa or even that woman at Publix taking an hour to ring you up … while you’re at it.
We’re all fighting some type of real or perceived battle, but stop whining for a minute and listen to something other than the negative thoughts eating your brain and putting black marks on your soul.
Nobody expects us to be perfect, emotionless go-bots. But, if we’d shut up for a sec, maybe we’ll hear that our friend has a solution. Or find out that maybe the battle was more like a victory in disguise. Or that maybe it really is that bad.
However, I promise things will get better. And if they don’t, make them better. And if that doesn’t work, throw a party, but don’t invite the negativity! And then laugh. And figure it all out!
If you have a problem, solve it. Talk to that person who drove you nuts. Get it out there. Quit dwelling, I say! Moving forward, stopping those rotten thoughts and not whining is the only solution.
Unless you’d like to take a permanent vacation to Crybabyland where there’s always a tear in your beer and the bad advice is free.
I’ll be sipping margaritas with my friends in Positivity City where the sun always shines, laughs are a plenty, the creativity flows and there is always enough time for everybody to … catch their limit …><(("> Mandy Stark
Mandy is a ><(("> Friend of Catch Your Limit, a marketing firm with offices in Tallahassee, Florida and Richmond, Virginia. To contact Mandy email her at email@example.com or to learn more about Catch Your Limit, visit www.catchyourlimit.com.